A couple of weeks ago I, with some of precious friends of mine, went to see Mr. Eggleston (in flesh) and his work at the LACMA. Having ”the giant”, as my dear friend T. refers to him, signing my books was quite a remarkable experience.

I have to confess that excitement and a certain panic were ruling my head that evening, the very thought of being face to face with such an omnipresent photographer, who changed the way people look at color photographs long before I was born became a tad too much to bear and at the same time raised so many questions in my head (those who are afflicted by any level of being “starstruck” will relate).

Questions which may afflict you too, and what you love when it comes to photography. By the time I got to the table I found “Mr. Bow Tie Genius” accompanied by a translator, someone behind of me whispered something along the lines of ” rushing-you-out-off-of-the-line-pitbull-caretaker”, I later on found her presence necessary, specially when considering my thick accent and his mumbling; however, that is not what struck me the most, what did hit me with an iron fist was the assurance that time hits as all, pretty much in the same fashion. 

Mr. Eggleston sat there, humble, signing books, smiling cordially while all of us became disarmed by his frailty. He has aged, and he is aware of it, without a single blink of excuse he carried on, never lowering his eyes. I then came to realize, that even if I was completely unaware, ignorant and oblivious of his work, his posture and attitude would have affected me as the one of someone who DID and still DO what they love the most in life. 

You may be asking where the fuck am I getting with all this babbling? 

In the last two months, I was told several times by different people, to forget about taking photographs, to stop wasting my time and money and channel all of my energy into “making a living” for myself, ‘cause I am aging and time is unforgiving! Accounting for the fact that I am an “unmarried-over-30-woman” (are we in the 1800’s still?). I did my best to ignore those “friendly advices”, but somewhere in between my questioning and their “offerings”, a bit of their juice slid in between the cracks of my doubts and they started to corrode me. 

I then decided to take a day off and run away… 

I chose an over-visited, over-talked about destination, did I mention over-photographed? I went to Salton Sea. I was determined to see and feel what a California’s Desert is like, erasing then my “pre-fabricated” idea of a desert with sand and oasis (pardon me, but I come from a place where the closest thing to a desert is called “cerrado”), to embrace and resist the “cheesiness” of photographing the same, and to ultimately come in terms with whether I would continuing pressing the shutter, or I would give it a rest for good (or at least until I made the damn “living” for myself). 

… I spent half a day walking through Salton Sea’s arid surroundings, but it only took me five seconds to realize and settle for what truly moves me inside, photography. I love it, every single bit of it, even the bad ones… The very thought that you, or someone I’ve never seen or met, took the time to point a camera at something with an idea in mind gives me “goose bumps” (that excludes the Google street car and its 9 eyes). Therefore, I opt for it, I will keep on pressing the damn shutter, with or without a society dictated concept of how important is to make a living for oneself (I am such a rebel!), and you, you should do the same, embrace what you love and have a go at it!  

And on that precious “making a living”, have you ever heard of multi-tasking? 

© Ludmilla Morais. All Rights Reserved.